Friday, March 2, 2012

When Good Yards Go Bad II

For Part II of my series on Charleston yards gone awry, I thought I would share with you a newly planted front yard installation that cropped up this week, on my walking route to work, while I was away on a business trip.  As we gardeners so often note during this time of year: a lot can happen to a "garden" in just one short week.

So without further ado: here you have it.

"Kitchen" Garden
As with many truly unfortunate ideas, they tend to look good on paper. Communism springs to mind.  But in all fairness, and to set myself apart from the mainstream news media, let me present both sides.  What this genus does have going for it:

- It comes in many colors, an almost endless array
- Variable pricing on different cultivars, priced to fit nearly anyone's budget
- Strong silvery foliage that will absolutely never need staking
- Low water needs
- Doesn't mind if you plant it upside down
- Supreme disease resistance (although the very cheapest varieties may be prone to Rust)

But in my humble opinion, the negatives of this species far outweigh the positives:
- It remains short, sparse and invariable
- Painful if stepped on
- Companion 'plantings' tend to be empty aluminum cans and cigarette butts, two of my least favorite weedy varieties
- Attracts party-ators (aged 22 and under all night partyers) instead of pollinators
- Tends to spread: not necessarily in the same form but its companion plantings and party-ators move quickly throughout the block, overtaking well established gardens in a very short time period.

Anyhow made for a good laugh on my way to work, and I couldn't resist putting it up here!


  1. Do you think maybe their child went out there and ' decorated the garden' or do you think an adult being 'unique' did this ? Maybe someone just dropped the silverware tray when they were coming out the door and it all landed in the garden in perfect places ? keep us posted on how long it lasts. take care! Gina

    1. Ah, no I go by lots of student houses on the way to work, this was those kids having a bit of semi-adult fun :) It really is a bit of fun, I imagine they were out there at 3 am with extra silverware and came up with this idea.

  2. As truly weird as it is, I like the funkiness of it. If it were here, it would be considered an 'art space' and I'd have to pay admission. :o)

  3. Yes, it made me laugh this morning when I passed it. Did a double take. I mean, how often do you see an entire front garden cutlerized?

  4. I really did laugh out loud but more at your commentary than the actual planting.

  5. very interesting and I loved your assessment...thx for the laugh!!

  6. Such a hoot, I cannot believe you stopped to take the photos. I would have worried they would have come blasting out of the house to fork me.

  7. At first I thought they were just colourful plant markers but then realized, hey that's cutlery! Wonder if that was done to keep wandering cats out of the garden?

  8. There is a gardening style for all types! The owner would be pleased that the new garden is now known world-wide and will no doubt spark imitators, as well as a bit of controversy.

  9. Well, dang. What was this gardener up to? Too bad s/he wasn't out and about so you could go, "Um, excuse me, but, um what is the name of that poky plant down there that looks remarkably similar to an um eating utensil?" and see what he/she would say. Gardeners are such funny people. :) Great post, Jess.

  10. This is funny, I didn't know people did that... Maybe it is a new dog (cat, squirrel) repellent? Maybe it actually works?