So without further ado: here you have it.
- It comes in many colors, an almost endless array
- Variable pricing on different cultivars, priced to fit nearly anyone's budget
- Strong silvery foliage that will absolutely never need staking
- Low water needs
- Doesn't mind if you plant it upside down
- Supreme disease resistance (although the very cheapest varieties may be prone to Rust)
But in my humble opinion, the negatives of this species far outweigh the positives:
- It remains short, sparse and invariable
- Painful if stepped on
- Companion 'plantings' tend to be empty aluminum cans and cigarette butts, two of my least favorite weedy varieties
- Attracts party-ators (aged 22 and under all night partyers) instead of pollinators
- Tends to spread: not necessarily in the same form but its companion plantings and party-ators move quickly throughout the block, overtaking well established gardens in a very short time period.
Anyhow made for a good laugh on my way to work, and I couldn't resist putting it up here!