How To Age A Brand New Cement Statue

My favorite statues are those that look like they've been there forever. They sport mossy nooks and stains from rainwater, and they are worn around the edges.  Any statue left in a shady moist environment long enough will take on this look with time.  But the time component is the kicker.  We aren't talking one year, or even two, but many many many years, and I just don't have that sort of patience.  And, apparently, I don't have the patience to wait around and find the perfectly seasoned statue at an estate sale.

Now some people like bright white statues, so this 'how to' is definitely not for you, as I'm sure you'll be of the opinion that it looked better before.  However for those of you who like the look of aged, and have an urn, fountain or statue which is still looking like it stepped off the showroom floor, I have a cheat for you.

Here's what you'll need:
-Little tubes of acrylic paint.  Black, a mossy (not bluish) green, and potentially a brown.
-A kitchen sponge
-Water
-a 3-4 cup container (nonstaining)

Mix a few cups of water with just a dollop (like half a teaspoon) of the green paint.  Mix well.  If you are a nervous nelly feel free to make the mixture even more watered down, because this is permanent so you can always add, but you cannot take away.

Take the sponge and totally soak it into the stain and then start squeezing it above the statue letting gravity and the natural shape of the figure dictate where the water will run.  This is what is going to give you the most natural effect, just as it would had the drippings from a tree been the agent.  I did this 3-4 times over with the light green concoction.

Repeat this process with a dollop of 1/3 green and 2/3s black.  I did these a little more sparsely, but with the same method, over the top of the statues head in order to simulate how this really happens.   Do not be alarmed if the initial effect while wet seems sort of dark and streaky.  It dries much lighter.

Finally, if you like the slightly rust colors that occasionally show up in nooks and crannies repeat the process with a medium brown/burnt sienna mixed tone.   I did this very sparsely, literally one spongeful.

And voila: brand spanking new off the show room floor statue looking quite a few years older than she did 30 minutes ago, without that fake "applied by the manufacturer" look.   I am going to leave her at this point and let nature take over from here.

Before

After

ps. if you hadn't noticed by now: I did it! Finally, I got a statue!  It wasn't exactly what I was looking for, but it was very cheap and I just had to go ahead and bite the bullet.  Mission accomplished, as I like her and to me she doesn't look out of place or gaudy, and will only look better when the clematis and jasmine vines behind her fill in.  Phew. Good thing because she weighs 200 pounds easy.